yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
