i think my tv is drunk
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
