he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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