i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
