Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
