why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
