Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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