I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
