That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
