Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
