i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least š
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being āgoodā and 10 being ābanging a studentās fatherā, how bad is it that Iām banging a studentās father?
Randomize
