I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
