Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I had to cum in my sink.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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