I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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