so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Church boner. Awkwardddd
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
