It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
