I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
