Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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