You made me cry and you don't even care
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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