I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
so much tequila, so little girl.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
There are leaves in my underwear?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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