You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
