He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
