you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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