You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
