Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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