I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
