How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
