Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
