guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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