I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
