the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
