I met the friendliest cop last night
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
