Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
