Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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