I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
