i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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