thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
