There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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