Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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