Just fell off a train. Bad.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
