I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
