Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
