If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
