kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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