I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
