My room smells like vodka and shame
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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