My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
