i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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