Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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