I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We don't watch enough power rangers
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
