New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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