im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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