hell yes lets make some ravioli
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
ugly people sure do ruin things
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
